FML

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML


; Lol much! He married a Bella wannabe. Hahahahah.
&Another one!


Today, i realized that I am dating a 25 year old man-child. He turns 13 whenever he sees my boobs, complete with big eyes and saying "honk honk" whenever he touches them. FML


;hahahaahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha. toy car!